Saturday, October 3, 2009

As If Urinals Weren't YUCKY Enough...

AS IF urinals weren't YUCKY enough...

Today at work some guy came up to me and said, "Thought I'd let you know that someone pooped in the urinal", and then he walked out. Just like that.

Eeew, really?

Here is my thoughts on how this went down:

"There he sat to take a shit;
he pushed a load,
But nothing showed,
he realized something was amiss,
he went in there to take a piss."

Remember the one who TOLD me about the poop in the urinal?

I think it was him..but whatever.

He was pissed that his chick was taking so long in the store. Some guys have no clue. If I was THAT guy and I was pissy because my chick dragged me into the foo foo cosmeticon that is ULTA, I would have gone about things QUITE a bit different.

How to get your chick out of a foo foo girly girl store 101

1. Tell her to take as long as she wants.

She'll aprreciate this and let her guard down, so you can work your magic.

2. Head over to talk to the girls who run the joint. Start asking them questions about products, even if you don't care about them (TRUST ME HERE).

I guarantee you, the minute she hears laughter or even talking coming from the store where her man is...she'll be cued up and ready to check out in a New York second.See how that works? You win and you didn't even do anything wrong! After all, you were "researching" presents for her! lol

In the instance you are the poor soul that gets dragged down every isle kicking and screaming...there's your sign....just sayin'.

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