The Night I Burnt My Boob and Failed My Own Diversion.

The night I burnt my boob and failed my own diversion.

This was a glorious night. (there was hallelujah music and everything) Here is why:

I went on a date with THE most beautiful man I have ever laid my eyes on. I call him Mexico City, because that is where he is from. He is ummm maybe 6'4" with the darkest brown eyes you've ever seen. A goatee frames his mouth perfectly. Going into this date I knew two things. I WAS going to kiss those lips and I was most definitely NOT going to sleep with him. After all, what kind of girl sleeps with the most beautiful man she's ever seen on her first date?

That being said, I had to give myself a diversion.

Yup. My Very own diversion plan.

My Diversion Plan:

1. DO NOT shave legs. Hairy legs are gross; you'll never sleep with a guy if your legs are hairy.

2. Do NOT clean your apartment. Leave laundry all over the bed so there is no chance of bringing him home and holding him hostage in that very BED!

The only problem with my diversion plan is that I have ZERO self-control in the correct circumstances and the circumstances this night were definitely correct.

dun,dun,dun

We met for our date at the perfect little lounge. It was a Monday night; no-body was there accept for us and a creepy young guy at the bar. We were at a high-top table sitting right next to each other. We began talking about where we grew up, how we both got to Omaha, when, where and why. I told him about my Cierra and then asked him how old he was. "Age is only a number", he said (in a DIVINE accent)

For the record, I have six years on him AND could care less.

The night moved on, the conversation got even better and before I knew it we were at my apartment. The minute Gorgeous went in the bathroom I quickly shoved everything in sight into the nearest closet. It was ridiculous, really. The whole time I was cursing myself for not knowing myself better. I never let a pile of laundry stop me from doing anything else....why would Mr. Mexico City be any different? lol

Once Mr. Mexico City was out of the bathroom, I told him about my diversion plan. He laughed and said, "You think too much".

Ummm YA THINK?

I planted him on the couch, with a drink and the remote and headed to the bathroom to SHAVE my goddamn legs. While the tub was filling up, I cleaned some more. ha ha

Once my legs were shaved the rest was history until we made it into my room. Mr. Mexico proceeded to whisper that he couldn't see very well and wanted some light, so he could vividly remember everything. I ran out to my living room, pulled the table lamp out of the socket and brought it to my room to plug in. While bending over it, to plug it in...I BURNT MY BOOB! This whole night was a big fat comedy of errors.

IF I never saw him again....I would still always remember.....the night I burnt my boob and failed my own diversion.

Here is the lamp(I must've dented to shade when I jumped from the burn):
Here is the burn 24 hours later, blister included.