My Boyfriend and My Current State of Bliss

Love isn't a decision,it's a feeling.

If we could decide who to love,

then, life would be much simpler,

but then less magical.

Okay, first you must know that I ADORE my boyfriend. Living together has been strengthening,interesting, hard, entertaining, and comforting all in one. My boyfriend considers HD tv, oceans (and stuff like that) to be the most important time of the day.

I need lots of attention, so I've thought about dressing up like a piece of plankton for his entertainment, only I'm not so sure he'd find the humor in that at the moment.

He is SOOOO not perfect. JUST. LIKE. ME. I like him that way though, mainly because perfect would be oh-so-Boring. (I'm yawning just thinking about it...seriously) He challenges me every. single. day.

I'm sure I do my share of challenging him as well. Correction...I KNOW I do. I'm not that easy to be with.

I feel like I've never had assurance in a relationship, accept from him ...in high school. (But does that count? hmmp)

With my ex-husband and two boyfriends, I didn't always have that. I didn't always have comfort, or the assurance of knowing that there is someone there on my side. My ex-husband was/is a good man, but he was gone most of the time. We married because we were pregnant and then he cheated on me. My major relationship after that was bi-polar, selfish, needy and chemically dependant on everything and anything that could stimulate his purpose (which I'm not fully sure he ever came to realize). I tried to help him; Turns out I should've left the fixing to the professionals.

Finally, the police officer was horrible with money, a bad pet owner and needed approval from everybody that he came in contact with. He was not for me, obviously.

All that being said, I am flawed. I have baggage, but what 30 year old woman doesn't these days?

I cling abnormally to what people tell me they will do, particularly my poor boyfriend. It could be something as small as picking up a towel, be assured if he promised to do it...AND did'nt... I take notice.

Isn't love grand? ha ha